The Proofreader’s Bible

As an English major with a Master’s degree, I’ve had a couple dozen English professors. As a proofreader, I've edited other students' papers for perhaps a hundred more. EVERY ONE had their own interpretation about the rules of punctuation but each one refused to believe that a different professor could think differently… Obviously, they don’t talk about it with each other much. grrrr… The solution is that we should talk, and the Proofreader’s Bible is where I hope we will hold an on going conversation about what is most sensible. So we’re especially interested in feedback to this page in order to update and expand it. In the first place, we’re going to depend on common sense more than style manuals. Personally, I use an MLA Style Manual, 4^th ed. which naturally I’ve had to supplement with MLA information for online citations that I’ve found at university writing center websites. It is my tool to help guide me in creating quality, clear, concise writing. It is not my master. When it helps me improve my writing, I use all the tools of grammar, punctuation, and citation that it gives me, but when it doesn’t I drop it and start reading what I’ve written until I figure out how to make it better. Therefore, the Proofreader’s Bible is going to be much less “This is the rule from MLA for…” and more about “Here’s how to apply the MLA rules so that you actually get better writing.” At least, here’s hoping.

Commas

Commas are the most ubiquitous problem in punctuation. At EarthChronicle.com we want to avoid comma abuse: we want to them where they clarify meaning and readability. It is easy to become “comma crazy.” If you honestly use a comma in every place suggested by a reference manual, you get this…

First of all, Lolly, who likes lollipops, would, after school, when it was dark out, go to the store, Qmart, the one down the street from her house, and buy a MasterBlaster, her favorite lollipop, which cheered her up, when it was a cold dreary day, which had the little flavor crystals, that pop on your tongue, and her favorite soda, FizzyPop.

These commas do not help the sentence by separating out the clauses and nouns in apposition. It is poorly written and no amount of commas will save it. In this example, the commas only add to the confusion by breaking up the sentence’s readability. This sentence needs to be rewritten…

When it was dark out after school, Lolly liked to go to the Qmart store which was down the street from her house. She would buy her favorite soda, FizzyPop, and her favorite lollypop, the MasterBlaster. No matter was depressed by a cold dreary day, MasterBlaster how much Lolly flavor crystals could always cheer her up as they popped on her tongue.

This is much more readable and has commas only where they serve to add to the sentences readability. For example, the final sentence is a fairly complex conditional thought. However, the sentence’s readability would not really be helped by additional commas, so although we “could” use them, we don’t.

This doesn’t mean to avoid commas. When the meaning of a sentence is unclear and commas would provide the cues to understand it, then we use them. This is exactly what punctuation is for, to act as guides in situations where the words alone are unclear. For example, "People who are serious about preserving freedom in the US should own a handgun. I think that you should too." So does the writer think you should own a handgun? Maybe they mean “I think that, you should too.” The addition of a comma transforms the statement into a plea for agreement with the writer’s opinion. As proofreader, I would check with the submitter to see what they are trying to say. Show them how it reads and offer them different options to clarify what they mean. Perhaps there’s even a way to rewrite the sentence so that it’s unambiguous. But this would certainly be an issue to raise with your other team members, author and researcher.

There is also an additional use for a comma not mentioned in most manuals. The fundamental effect of a comma when we’re reading a sentence is that it draws attention for a moment, about the equivalent of a beat, disrupting the reading of a sentence. Most of the uses of a comma are simply situations where you want someone to pause for a second, places where you would naturally take a speaking pause to help people understand the structure of your sentence. e.g. Lolly would buy her favorite soda, FizzyPop. The comma inserts a pause in your reading, the same verbal pause you use in speech to ensure someone knows that FizzyPop is the favorite soda. (ie they are formally in apposition.) Therefore, any place where your narrative needs a one beat pause, especially humor, can use a comma to facilitate the reader’s timing as they read an article. e.g. It’s the most appropriate way to render the old Henny Youngman one-liner, “Take my wife, please.”

Brevity is the Soul of Wit: Reduce the Number of Words

Again like commas, there are lots of words we “could” use, but it’s usually better if we don’t. When we speak we use a lot of extra words that our brain naturally edits out, but they stick out like a sore thumb in writing. It’s easiest to work with an example, so here goes.

I, ummmmm, really think that if you are thinking about going to, aaaaaaah, the store, ummmmm, you know, aaaaaah, the one down the street, maybe you’d get me a soda, too.

First, all the ummms and aaaahs can go, and let’s toss the “you know” while we’re at it. We wouldn’t write any of those, they’re the most obvious problems.

I really think that if you are thinking about going to the store, the one down the street, maybe you’d get me a soda, too.

The “I really think that if you are thinking about going” stands out too, although you’d be surprised how often things like that actually turn up in writing. The guts of this phrase is “if you are going”. We can dump all the rest. Further, the imperfect tense “are going” isn’t necessary. It adds subtle shades of meaning but there’s probably no reason we can’t use the present tense “go”…

If you go to the store, the one down the street, maybe you’d get me a soda, too.

The phrase “the one down the street,” works well in commas because the apposition of “the store” and “the one” is awkward. However, an even better solution is to eliminate the awkwardness entirely. We can do this easily by making “down the street: a prepositional phrase describing the store. If there’s no confusion about which store is meant in context, then you can even eliminate down the street. I’ll assume it would be unclear, so we’ll leave it in.

If you go to the store down the street, maybe you’d get me a soda, too.

Although the apostrophe shortens it, to “you’d get”, the could is an unnecessary helping verb. “Maybe” seems even less necessary. The “too” at the end may be fine, especially if we’re trying to be extra polite, but it would probably be ok without it. I’ll choose to remove all three from the sentence for a really stripped down version.

If you go to the store down the street, get me a soda.

This is a much tighter, more easily readable sentence. We eliminated a lot of obvious things at first, but at the end we even did some fairly careful editing to say exactly what we wanted to say. We would have made different choices if the context were different. For example, let’s say that the final step sounds too informal. If we need a sentence that sounds more polite, we can rephrase the final clause as a question. This would respect the choice of the person we're asking. We’d probably choose to leave in the “could” and the “too” which are more polite giving us…

If you go to the store down the street, could you get me a soda, too?

At this point we’re simply fine tuning. If I were the proofreader, this is where I'd sit down with my team to get their feedback. Remember, that fine tuning needs a lot of input from the author, so expect a fair amount of back and forth in the final stages of grammatical editing.